Lovingkind Counsel

With lovingkindness have I drawn thee

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The Mission

  • FROZEN

    When I get overwhelmed, I tend to freeze like a deer in headlights or I wave my hand in my face and say you can’t see me God (in my John Cena voice). When I’m frozen I also procrastinate, allow intentional distractions or I avoid.

    Fight, Flight or Freeze is our automatic and sometimes learned response to things we see as dangerous or harmful (to any part of us). God helped me see that the root of this is fear. Fear that comes from uncertainty or a lack of confidence… A trust issue.  

    The next time you’re on the precipice of a great challenge (decision), I pray you take a breath and realize that this feeling can be the beginning of something new. Allow this initial response to birth the understanding that although this is something that I may not be able to do, there’s a God who can do all things. Remember that at your weakest most desperate attempt at survival; He is made perfectly strong, He is able and, He is yet alive!

    With Lovingkindness

    XOXO

  • Because There’s More

    Because There’s More

    Inside of every living thing is the instinct to survive. Survival is ingrained in the core of our human existence from the very function of our physical bodies to the complex systems that regulate the function of our mental and emotional systems. The Bible says that God breathed into the nostrils of man and he became a living soul. Sister Peg Dolan said “Each of us is a word of God spoken only once” and I’ll take it a step further and say that His word does not return back to Him void. The breath of life is also the calling to live… To survive. We expose our bodies to various conditions some of which are harmful and our bodies, understanding their assignment, make adjustments or compensations to the perfectly “designed” systems so that we can survive. It’s like having a fever. The fever isn’t the illness, although it’s uncomfortable. The fever is actually your body fighting off the infection or virus that’s trying to harm you. I broke my left ankle twice within the last 15yrs. Both fractures have completely healed and have been healed for years now but I went to the nail salon and got a pedicure and my technician pointed out that I had callouses on my right foot and that it was rougher than my left. Before I could even finish trying to figure out the puzzle, she said you walk heavier on your right foot. Did you injure yourself? I was shocked and quickly admitted to breaking my left ankle 2xs. Turns out my body had compensated for the injury all by itself (without my conscious decision). If a person has diabetes, the symptoms of an elevated glucose level are excessive urination (the body’s way of dumping out as much of the extra glucose from your body as possible), if you drink too much alcohol and you begin to vomit, it’s not because of the bad combination or something greasy but it’s your body trying to get rid of the toxins that can kill you, because your body understands the assignment… To live! Sometimes we get so distracted by the uncomfortable feelings or pain that we don’t realize that they aren’t a sign of defeat but the symptoms of victory.

    I could talk about the physical implications of this for a long time -there’s no shortage of examples but let’s touch on the mental and emotional ways that we survive. Three words… fight, flight and freeze. These are the ways that our minds protect us and help us to survive. When something happens that raises safety concerns (real or perceived), our brains switch into survival mode and depending on the environment, situation, personal history and support or lack of support, a person will respond behaviorally in the best way to prevent further damage or harm (physical, mental, emotional) to themselves. The problems and disorders result from the inability to return to a pre-event state. Issues arise when you begin to live in survival mode (we’ll delve deeper into survival mode in a future post).

    There’s NO reason for this my friend. There is no button that God presses every morning that wakes you up. There’s no alarm for your next breath to happen. God is not a micromanager. He’s a big God! Not so big we can’t get to him or so big we can’t reach Him. He’s so vast that we can’t miss Him (if you seek you’ll find him) and He’s so big that He’s everywhere all the time all at once. He’s never too busy. He’s always available and always waiting for you to remember Him. Only God knows the plans he has for you. Nothing is an accident If you’re still alive that means there’s more for you… and THAT is the victory!

    *Devotion – Jeremiah 29:11 / Proverbs 16:3 / 1Corinthians 2:9 / Matthew 6:33 / Matthew 7:7-8

    Be ever encouraged.

    I love you but not more than God.

    https://youtu.be/aIhcQqodx7M

  • Wednesday Wellness…

    Wednesday Wellness…

    “People don’t buy what you’re selling they buy why you’re selling it.”

    – Simon Sinek

  • Wellness Wednesday:

    “Thought is not reality; yet it is through thought that our realities are created” – Joseph Nguyen

  • February Playlist

    February Playlist

    1. Let Him In – Jokia https://youtu.be/EGr5PLDucYI
    2. Don’t Stress – Maddison Ryan-Ward https://youtu.be/m8lJ2knjA74
    3. Dependable – Travis Green (ft. Darrel Walls & Chandler Moore) https://youtu.be/ee6ggHEsfxs
    4. New Day – Blanca & Jeklalyn Carr https://youtu.be/LRB–iQylFs
    5. Safe Place – Lauren Milne https://youtu.be/ofcoZU9ZaJg
    6. Give Myself Away – Limoblaze https://youtu.be/fgr6mJueVy8
    7. Work Together – 116, Cokah, Jay Brown https://youtu.be/UdJfNCWosyY
    8. Fill Me Up – Toyalove, Childlike Cici & Shirlvin Desir https://youtu.be/5QwwG7cfFhM

  • Church – Hurt

    Church – Hurt

    When I began to think about this issue and just how big of an issue it is, I thought about the hurt ones. I have been hurt in the church and I’m sure many others have as well. There’s much that can be said to the hurt ones, but this post is for the church -more specifically the whole body of Christ. When I see the church I think about Christ after he died and after he rose from the dead. I think about how he appeared to his disciples and they didn’t know who he was. I think of the heart posture He must have rested in. Even after dying for them and then conquering death… To appear to His followers, and they still not believe who He is. He could’ve taken his gifts back. He could’ve said you don’t deserve to be saved, but instead He showed them his scars… So that they could believe.

    I believe it is the lack of practice amongst the Church (Body of Christ) that has lead to a lot of “Church-Hurt”. We the Church can sometimes feel unattached to the things we have suffered. Perhaps we feel ashamed that we brought some of that suffering on ourselves or maybe we have ascended beyond that place in our lives, but if we…

    • Have our own prescribed path.
    • Truly understand that ALL things work together for not just our good but for our purpose.
    • Believe that God won’t waste any part of our experience (the good, bad or ugly).

    Then who are we to say

    “Use everything, God, but not THAT ”

    Now lets talk practical because that’s the purpose of this whole project. (To talk about real life issues from a Biblical perspective) Freud calls this process “Repression”. The repression theory occurs when people unconsciously sweep away memories, experiences, desires or thoughts that they view negatively. Repression is a defense mechanism and what are we defending?? Our Ego… our pride. The root of self-defense or a defense mechanism is fear.

    So to summarize… A lot of church hurt has happened as a result of church people who have pushed down the memories of their own negative experiences, desires, thoughts (sin) as a way to protect their pride for fear of how they may be looked at by others -who also wear the same masks and who wrap themselves In the same robes of holier-than. Its time to ask ourselves If we’re really Imitating Christ. Before you answer… Are we imitating the entirety of His life or just the ascension part?

    To the Hurt ones…

    Don’t give up on God. Despite what people may have shown you by their actions or lack there of, Jesus came for the wounded, the hurt and the rejected ones.

    “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”

    Psalms 147:3

    With Lovingkindness,
    XOXO

    Let Him In – Jokia

    https://youtu.be/EGr5PLDucYI

  • Where the Heart is

    I was in a meeting with one of my staff and I began to break down my actual job description and responsibilities and afterwards my staff paused and asked me if I felt the money or the pay was worth the work I did and I drew a blank. I really had no answer I told her that I didn’t know and as she went on giving examples to help me answer her question. I drifted back through the things I had done and accomplished and I told her that money was never the scale that I used to determine the value or quality of what I do here. I do it for the big picture -the vision of what I need the program to become. 

    The Bible says that where a man’s treasure is there is also his heart Matthew 6:19-21, but many of us have placed value in the wrong things. We have made Heaven our goal, and have assigned the value there. When the goal is intimacy and the treasure a restored relationship with God the Father. Heaven is just a perk and it’s our automatic portion. Its what happens as a result of our relationship. In case I just flipped someone’s world upside down… Here’s an example stay with me… My family and I live together so if I tell my son that we’re going to be moving, because of the relationship he has with us (his provider, his parent, we make sure he has food to eat and cases of water to drink). He automatically expects that he will be moving with us. The thought wouldn’t even cross his mind about what he would have to do to make sure he could be with us in the new place because he knows that he is an important part of the family.

    So I want to take 2mins and talk to you about value. More importantly, your value. I hope you know that you’re also an important part of the family too! You are so valuable to our father and you are valuable to me. All He wants is for you to come get to know Him. It’s more than repeating the sinners prayer. It’s more than just show up for services, meetings and Bible study. So I have a few questions for you… How is your relationship with your Heavenly Father. Have you become like a child? Have you rent your heart and bowed your will? Do you know his voice? He wants a relationship and a relationship is intimate. I think about a natural relationship… I love my husband and while there are times for us to be together with others it’s extremely important that we have time alone together too. The same is necessary to strengthen and build intimacy in any relationship.

    Hear His heart today! Come back to me my beloved come to me! It’s not too late! You’re not too far away! You’re not too far gone! Return to your first love. There’s no mess that you’re in that I can’t get you out of. You’re not too dirty! I’ve never stopped waiting for you. This is me perusing you! I’ve never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you. I will not throw you away. I am not ashamed of you. You are loved you are loved you are more loved than you can imagine.

    Just say “Yes”… Because tomorrow is not promised.

    I love you, but not more than God.

  • Writing Prompt: “Do you spend more time thinking about the past or the future? Why?”

    Writing Prompt: “Do you spend more time thinking about the past or the future? Why?”

    This kind of feels like a loaded question but I’m excited to answer it. By most accounts, to know fractions of what I’ve lived through, you might agree that I’ve had a pretty traumatic life. I feel blessed to say that I’ve always made it out on the other side. I just remember “I know the plans I have for you. I know the thoughts I think towards you”. I have and do spend a good amount of time thinking about the past. I think many of us do and for me it depends on the day. There are days when I’m mostly thinking about the future, but there are days when I can’t help but think about the past. To be clear, the past can be a few hours ago and 20yrs ago. I think the “Why?” is what’s most important.

    There have been points in my life where I visited the past like I was visiting a prisoner. My trauma was found guilty and locked up in my mind. I was stuck in this cycle of pain and suffering and the only way I could feel like I had any control of what happened was to keep it in lockdown.

    There were points where I had to revisit the prison because I needed to know why. Why these things happened to me. Why I had to go through so much. I launched my own investigation replaying every detail and gathering any new information. Like double jeopardy didn’t exist.

    This might’ve gone on for the rest of my life except I came to a moment when I realized that the same people that I had under lock and key in my head -looked quite free and HAPPY outside of it. Suddenly the math wasn’t mathing for me anymore. I went through a period of anger because they was living life like nothing ever happened. I was angry that they was allowed to be happy? Turns out I too was allowed to be happy and free, but it required me to give up my control, hand over the keys to the prison cell and free them. I didn’t realize that I was the one who was trapped inside revisiting the trauma. I was torturing myself. I can’t take the credit for this change of mind. It took a great big loving God who didn’t find it beneath him to put off his majesty for a little while to come see about little me.

    The craziest thing is the closer I’ve gotten to God the more my perspective of my past has changed. I went from being a victim of my past, to a survivor of it, to a victor from it, to a spokesperson for it. The higher you climb on a tree, the more different the things on the ground look. With every new height, I gained a new perspective on my past, but I also gained a new perspective on my future because things not only look different on the ground, they look different above me too.

    Today’s AJ would sound crazy to the AJ of 15 years ago, but I’m so grateful for my past. I want to go back to the people who hurt me and say thank you -truly thank you. If I had never been hurt, I could not help someone else who had been hurt. God is always right. He doesn’t put more on us then we can bear so if I went through this, and I made it to the other side, then I bared it. It may have hurt… It may have been hard… It may have been bloody and ugly, but I bared it! Sacrifice isn’t pretty. The weapon may have formed but if I’m still here then it didn’t prosper. What if this is the plan he has for you? What if the love he has for his children or the world requires that this is the plan for you? [Don’t worry I had to (forgive) release God from my prison too.] It’s not that crazy an idea. We have done an incredible job of making God bite-sized so that we can remain in control in our minds. He love the world so much that he sacrificed his only son to save it. God’s love does not change and neither does his plans for your future. He said it was for good things. You just have to hold on through the ugly parts and you’ll get high enough to see how it all worked together for your good -for your future.

    I love you but not more than God

  • Words 1

    Loving me is one thing but being in love with me is another.

    Caring for me is one thing but taking care of me is another.

    You are with me and here with me. You pour over me and pour into me. You see me and see through me. You hold me and I am beholden. 

    Be mine and be my mind.

    Be my purpose and make me purpose.

    In-tune your heart with my

    spirit and soul like harmony.

    Your love is like a whisper, reminding me that I’m yours.

    I look for you everywhere and I find you in the every.

    My compass searches for you and finds you in my stern.

    It has been a long journey; You have made my heart your home.

    Please allow my reverence to wash your feet.

    You are beautiful.

    I love me being in love with you.